Accepting Identity

With the UK's 50th Pride Month upcoming, events are being hosted globally to counter issues around parental acceptance of LGBTQ identity, as levels of homophobia in households continues to rise.

Homophobia was first criminalised in Britain in 1553, and only in 2014 were homosexual couples allowed to have the same rights as heterosexuals. Now, there are 69 UN countries that still criminalise homosexuality, and more that do not give full rights to homosexual couples.

Despite the legal rights the LGBTQ+ community have gained, levels of homophobia from parents to their children is still at an all-time high.

Less than half of all Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual (46%) and Transgender people (47%) feel comfortable talking about their sexuality or gender identity to those they consider 'friends or family' because of fear of homophobia.

According to a YouGov survey, 28% of 18-24-year-olds were not open about being LGBT to any family members (excluding partners).

Of the YouGov survey respondents, 94% did not report the most serious incident they experienced where it involved people they lived with.

Around the world, LGBTQ+ activists are hosting events to help support parents through acceptance.

Dr Uchenna Umeh, well regarded as Dr Lulu, Nigerian-born, paediatrician and LGBTQ+ advocate said: "Enough people assume that the cause of mental health struggles in the LGBTQ+ community is being LGBTQ+. However, the real cause is the way society treats us.

"Up to 42% of LGBTQ+ youth (particularly transgender youth) seriously considered suicide in the past 12 months. This is a HUGE number, largely resulting from homophobia, rejection and lack of support from the community."

Dr Lulu hosts support groups for parents of queer teens who can talk to other parents who go through a similar situation, with additional weekly pop in sessions on social media.

She will be hosting her first ever virtual summit for parents of queer children between the 1st and 3rd of June.

"I empower parents to love themselves first, then accept themselves as parents of queers, and then love, acceptance and affirmation of their kids will come."

Dr. Jonathon Tobkes, M.D. , a gay, psychiatrist and author, said: "I think that the primary reason that parents struggle with accepting their child's sexual orientation/identity is because it is antithetical to their internalized expectation of what they have been envisioning for their child since birth.

"The most reassuring thing a parent can tell their child is that they do not see them any different at all upon finding out this new information and that it does not impact the magnitude of their love for them. A parent should never express guilt or shame to their child because it may make their child feel rejected."

Lily McGarry, an androgynous lesbian (a woman who has both male and female physical appearance) from Coventry said: "Identity is very important, I don't take for granted the fact that both my parents are very supportive.

"I think as an LGBTQ+ individual, it's very difficult to come through that journey of self-discovery unscathed by mental health knocks, and I'm no different in that aspect.

"But I wouldn't be the person I am today without that journey, so now I can look back and accept that that was my story, and I think that that's where the sense of community comes from."

If you are struggling as an LGBTQ+ person, you are not alone. Stonewall are an amazing charity you can visit for any help and support.